Thank You, Birthdays & Babies

We had a great weekend. But before I dive into a recap, I wanted to thank you all for the overwhelming response to my last post regarding Caroline. I received over 100 comments on my post, 300+ comments on instagram and probably an additional 30+ direct emails (maybe more, I’ve
lost count). I’ve read every single one of your comments and emails and am trying to reply to all of them (except for those who don’t have
their emails linked – you can fix that by following this tutorial).
I cried through many of the stories and words of comfort that you all
shared. You don’t know it, but those comments are helping me cope with
what happened. You have made
such a difference in my life during this time and I am forever grateful
for you all. Sharing my experience has been a coping outlet for me and I hope that it stirred some of you to take infant CPR, purchase a SIDS monitor and hug your babies just a little tighter.

To
be completely honest, I’ve had a really hard time since we’ve come home
from the hospital. Of course I am completely overjoyed, thankful and don’t take even a second with my baby for granted anymore, but there are some lingering raw feelings of terror and sadness. As soon as the sun starts to set I get really bad anxiety, I wake up a lot in the middle of the night fearing something is wrong and sometimes when I walk into
Caroline’s room I can’t shake the visions of that night from my head.


Many of you told me that
only time and prayer for peace will heal and I think you are right. We installed an Angelcare monitor (thank you to those who offered to send me theirs!) and each
night since we’ve been able to sleep just a little bit better. So again, thank you for your prayers, keeping my family in your thoughts and the words of encouragement. You all have reminded me of how powerful and wonderful the blogging community is.

Awesome quote right? It’s amazing how you stumble upon those when you really need them!

So moving on (balance), we had a really wonderful weekend. Two of my girlfriends announced their pregnancies (same due date!!!) and Saturday night we had friends over for a BBQ and knocked out 3 September birthday celebrations.

In preparation for this year’s annual BBQ contest Matt wanted to try out a new Boston Butt recipe for some practice and get some feedback from our friends on the recipe. Last year (post here) his team took home 3rd place so they are motivated to place again this year!

He threw a 10+ lb pork shoulder on the smoker Saturday morning and all day our house and backyard smelled delicious. We tried to keep the mini up for the party but she was pooped from a long day of grilling so we put her down for bed as our friends began to arrive.

I meant to take more pictures (like of the BBQ we cooked all day, my new favorite cocktail or maybe a picture of the husbands?! Oops.) but was so excited to have everyone over that I got distracted. However, I did get a picture of the hilarious cake that Mel surprised McKinsey, Laura and I with for our birthday.

While the husbands did man-things outside the girls got rowdy over a game of Cards Against Humanity. Why am I just now discovering this amazing game? We laughed for hours.

It was a late but super fun night with friends.

We kicked off Sunday with blueberry pancakes, ran some errands, enjoyed a nice long walk outside and relaxed a bit. It was a great weekend. Hope yours was too!

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65 Comments

  1. Caitlyn {Home Sweet Ruby}
    September 15, 2014 / 12:24 pm

    Love that face Caroline is making in the last photo! haha. Sounds like such a great weekend! I hope each day things get better after the scare, I can't even imagine what you're going through. I'm definitely considering one of those monitors for our registry now!

  2. Jessica White
    September 15, 2014 / 1:02 pm

    I have been keeping you all in my prayers since I read of Caroline's incident. May you try and find peace and comfort thru this time, I can only imagine the anxiety you must feel! I will continue to keep your family and sweet girl in my thoughts! I'm so incredibly happy she is ok!

  3. Nina B.
    September 15, 2014 / 1:06 pm

    That last picture is hilarious. Like I said before (or thought…it doesn't matter I am repeating it because you've been reading a lot of comments from a lot of people…which is what makes the blog community great), I am praying just as hard for your babe as I am for you and your husband. I can't even imagine the anxiety I would be struggling with and I am not yet a mom. Know that hundreds of people are praying for your family. And though this doesn't take away your anxiety or the scariness of what happened, God had Caroline. You've entrusted her to him (easy for me to say, right?) and he had her. The ONLY reason I say this is because one time I had a seizure while in Rome. I was on a missions trip + visiting family and so 90% of my time was on my feet. When I had the seizure, I was sitting down on a couch (the only thing I ever sat on was a top bunk) surrounded by others for an engagement party. (I promise I have a point…ha) And that's when it happened. People asked me after if I was afraid and I said, honestly no, because God had me. And yet, I know it was sooo much worse for the people around me. All that to say, God had Caroline. And it will always be much more traumatic for you than her. And I am just praying for your entire family. Seriously. Hope that wasn't too much. this is NOT about me. You don't have to pretend anything. x0

  4. Jillian Manesh
    September 15, 2014 / 1:24 pm

    omg those pancakes! YUM! im so glad you had a good weekend — you deserve it! xo jillian – cornflake dreams

  5. Erin
    September 15, 2014 / 1:30 pm

    I am loving Caroline's face in that last photo…I do the same thing when I see whipped cream atop a pile of sugary goodness! Happy Birthday and as always…continuous prayers for your family!

  6. Playground Prepster
    September 15, 2014 / 1:43 pm

    It is so good to see pictures of her! You've been on my mind and in my prayers. We watched CPR videos on youtube until we can take a refresher course. I can't imagine how hard it is to sleep or how exhausted you must be. The pic of you and Caroline on Instagram was precious. I'm so glad you had a great weekend surrounded by friends. I hope your anxiety goes in time (as much as it can). Take care of yourself!

  7. Caley-Jade Rosenberg
    September 15, 2014 / 1:55 pm

    You are always in our thoughts and prayers and I cannot imagine the anxious feeling every night (because I have it now too with our sweet babes sharing a birthday!) Have faith sweet momma x

  8. Jessica
    September 15, 2014 / 2:00 pm

    Loving that last picture of Caroline and the pancakes:) Still so, so glad that she is ok. I would think it would be completely normal for a mama who went through what you went through to be struggling with a bit of anxiety right now. And I absolutely agree that time will be the best healer for it. But while that scary event is still so fresh in your mind, there's no way you wouldn't continue to be a bit anxious and worried. SIDS is every mama's absolute worst fear, and I am so glad that you guys not only came through it, but have been able to spread some awareness of it. You are doing a great job, Mama. Keep your chin up. Things will get better as time goes by! And happy (late) birthday!!!:)

  9. BLovedBoston
    September 15, 2014 / 2:03 pm

    So happy to hear that you all are doing a little better- day by day girl, you've opened my eyes to so many things that I will need to do once that time comes in my life and I didn't even know they had a SIDS monitor!!! And that last photo I mean she looks like seriously seriously contemplating taking a bite out of that stack!!!

  10. P*P*P
    September 15, 2014 / 2:25 pm

    I think this may be my very first time commenting, but I wanted to say how happy I am to hear that Caroline is doing well! That must have been such a scary moment for you and your husband as new parents. I'm positive that God has some very special plans in store for your little girl — there was certainly an angel watching over her that evening! On a completely different note — that last photo of your little girl is just TOO cute — I love her expression…total shock and awe! 🙂

  11. Maran (HeyHawleywood)
    September 15, 2014 / 2:27 pm

    Mel with a Disney cake? Weird 🙂 Glad to hear life is slowly getting back to normal.

  12. Tess
    September 15, 2014 / 2:29 pm

    I'm glad you are taking some time to get back to normal, even though it's haunting. Hang in there sweet girl.

  13. Kelly Elizabeth
    September 15, 2014 / 2:31 pm

    Yay! I'm so happy to hear you had such a fun weekend! Mel is the sweetest, bringing that cake, sounds exactly like what my Disney loving girlfriends would do too! I admire you for being honest and open because you are bound to inspire someone going through the same thing. I think it is so normal to still feel a bit of anxiety after what happened, but as you said it prayer and time will heal things. I'm so glad baby Caroline is doing so well, and I love that picture of happy Mama and happy Baby together! Also, that pancake picture cracks me up! So cute!

  14. Lisa Loves John
    September 15, 2014 / 2:43 pm

    Keeping you all in my prayers – it will get easier!! And that last photo is wayyyy too cute!!

  15. Laurayne
    September 15, 2014 / 2:46 pm

    So glad to hear that Caroline is back to her normal self and that you had a wonderful weekend. GOD IS GOOD!

  16. Jessi @ Jessi's Design
    September 15, 2014 / 2:51 pm

    Ya'll look so fab! What a fun weekend! That pancake 'perplexed' look picture just made my morning! ha! xoxo

  17. Francis
    September 15, 2014 / 3:02 pm

    Oh my gosh! I didn't read about Carolina's scare before. I'm so sorry this happened to you all. Tears welled up in my eyes because I cannot imagine how scary that must have been. Praise God everything is fine. I know you and your husband must have trouble sleeping right now and it will probably continue this way for awhile, but the angelcare monitor should help and as she gets older there is less and less risk of her having SIDS. You all are in my prayers.

  18. Shayna @ The Fancy Yancey
    September 15, 2014 / 4:00 pm

    Glad to hear that y'all had such a great weekend! & Happy Birthday to you!! Am still keeping y'all in my thoughts & prayers!!

  19. Kate
    September 15, 2014 / 4:53 pm

    You have been on my mind often since your last post. I can't imagine the anxiety you have but find comfort that we are all praying so hard for you, your husband and Caroline. No idea that Vera Bradley made baby onesies…SO cute!! And in one of my favorite patterns! That last picture cracked me up- Caroline is definitely eyeing up those pancakes!! Looks like your weekend was a blast 🙂

  20. Katie Stroud
    September 15, 2014 / 5:17 pm

    You have been on my mind often since reading about your terrifying experience. Prayers are sent your sweet family's way, & I am so thankful and relieved Caroline is doing ok. I believe it will just take time and patience working through the anxiety. I full heartedly believe in allowing yourself to experience the anxiety/fear/worry in life situations. Feel it, learn from it and you will eventually move from those feelings into better ones; making us into stronger woman from it all. Your sweet girl is so adorable & I am so happy you had a fun weekend! cards agains humanity! ohhh the shenanigans & fun that game brings. I did want to share with you my husband and I just got back from Mexico, staying at the El Dorado Royal, and we had the best vacation ever. Upgraded to the Casitas when we arrived and stayed for 7 days to enjoy it all. So thank you again for sharing about your experience and vacation there, we loved it so so much. I am already asking my husband when can we go back? 🙂 have a great monday Christina! xo

  21. Jo
    September 15, 2014 / 5:20 pm

    I've been thinking about you and keeping your family in my prayers- I'm glad to hear you're feeling better little by little! xo

  22. Evelina Fortuna
    September 15, 2014 / 5:25 pm

    I'm so glad things are better with your little one. I think your feelings of anxiety are so normal right now. Hang in there!

  23. The Wanna-be Southern Belle
    September 15, 2014 / 5:41 pm

    I have yet to play cards against humanity too… Officially on the fall goal list! Sounds like your night with friends was just what the dr. ordered. Happy Birthday *muah*

  24. Liane
    September 15, 2014 / 6:18 pm

    I brought an AngelCare Monitor with my second baby and it was the best 'baby' purchase that I ever made. The peace of mind that it has brought us is amazing and well worth the money!

  25. Amanda {Kids and Cabernet}
    September 15, 2014 / 6:28 pm

    I've been thinking of you guys ever since. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do – time will heal I'm sure xoxo

  26. Bitz
    September 15, 2014 / 6:36 pm

    Haha! I'm loving that look that Caroline is giving to that stack of pancakes. It's like WO. I'm glad things are better for you and I do wish you to have more peace within yourself from that situation. Happy belated birthday as well!

  27. Brandi
    September 15, 2014 / 7:24 pm

    That picture of Caroline looking at the pancakes = THE BEST!

  28. Hannah
    September 15, 2014 / 9:16 pm

    I keep saying prayers for you; I can imagine it would be so hard and I'm sure I would be the exact same way. And I just have to say I love that cake. It's absolutely perfect. What a fun way to celebrate birthdays! I'm glad you had a fun weekend!

  29. Laura | Our Life in the Queen City
    September 15, 2014 / 9:53 pm

    That pic of the girls is SO good! Everyone is glowing! xo

  30. rox
    September 15, 2014 / 11:51 pm

    Ahhhh…..Cards Against Humanity. Best game EVER. I'm always looking for a reason to bust it out at parties, family gatherings (perhaps not so appropriate, but nevertheless….), you name it! I've pinned the Angelcare monitor to my Bebe Gear board. Thanks for the info!

  31. Ashley {Word on the Streets}
    September 16, 2014 / 4:43 am

    Will be praying for healing for you and that God eases your anxiety. I actually had to renew my CPR for work today and had to fight tears thinking about you guys going through what you did!

  32. Janice Free
    September 17, 2014 / 1:36 am

    Christina, I am a mother and now a grandmother. When my babies were 3 and 5 our family was in a life threatening automobile accident. After that terrible experience I was finally diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. Take care of yourself. Pray for peace and I will pray for you as well. You're going to be fine. If things don't settle down in your mind find a good cognitive therapist and work through this. What you are feeling is very normal for a mother that loves her baby more than life.

  33. Courtney @ Shiraz In My Sippy Cup
    September 18, 2014 / 1:27 pm

    Take every bit of time you need to move on from this experience. Don't feel rushed. You heart and head will heal in time. That last picture of Caroline is a hoot! She's like, "Whoa. That's a lot of pancakes. Challenge accepted." Take care.

  34. Lauren Scorzafava
    September 19, 2014 / 2:32 pm

    Love that quote and that looks like a fun party!xxLauren Elizabeth Petite in Pearls

  35. jen hangca
    September 23, 2014 / 6:39 am

    I bet it's really a fun party. I can see it through the smiles! I love the cake, its really colorful, perfect for the cute little girl celebrant. And those pancake. just so awesome! Send Flowers and Gifts to Philippines

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