Toddler Talk {Volume I}

For those of you with wild toddlers in the house, have you ever paid attention to some of the ridiculous things you’ve done or things you’ve caught yourself saying out loud? Recently I’ve noticed Matt and I saying more and more absurd things to Caroline so I thought it would be fun to catalog these quotes that have been overheard in our house to look back on one day…


Matt: What did Caroline have for dinner?

Christina: Ketchup.

Matt: I think she wants seconds…

Chasing me around the house after I said no to seconds

While looking for Caroline’s bow…

Christina: Caroline, where did you put your bow?

Caroline: Bo!

While impatiently waiting for her TV dinner to cook…

Christina: Please stop hugging the microwave.

Caroline: ….


While changing Thomas’ diaper on the changing table…

Christina: Thomas just peed on the wall.

Matt: Again? 


While scanning the DVR for something to watch after collapsing into bed…

Christina: What do you want to watch?  

Matt: Well, we have 37 episodes of Mickey Mouse clubhouse to choose from.

Christina: You pick.

While getting ready to walk 267 steps (we’ve counted!) home from playdate…

McKinsey: Do you want a drink for the road?

Christina: Matt’s getting home late. Make it a double.

After watching Caroline eat the last cheerio she’d been carrying around the house…

Matt: Caroline just ate the last cheerio in her hand and she may want more.

Christina: We’ve been out of cheerios for at least three weeks… 

While loading the kids into the car at daycare…

Christina: Keep one hand on the stroller! Caroline! Stay by the stroller. Do not let go of the stroller.

Caroline: …he he…he he…

Would love to hear some of the funny things said or done around your house!




  1. Caitlyn {Home Sweet Ruby}
    September 24, 2015 / 12:08 pm

    I think all the fellow boy mamas have had pee on the wall! haha Love that photo of Caroline in the stroller basket! I am constantly telling my son to stop eating my face while I'm trying to burp him, hopefully he grows out of that phase soon haha

  2. Sara Elizabeth
    September 24, 2015 / 12:17 pm

    Lol, the last picture makes it allllllllll worth it! Just look at that happy girl. 🙂

  3. Ashley
    September 24, 2015 / 12:25 pm

    The DVR comment haha. Mike and I aren't allowed to hug around Noah or show any affection or he loses it! So we will quickly say hurry hug me – he's not looking! We usually get caught…

  4. Alexis Fetterman
    September 24, 2015 / 12:30 pm

    This is such a great idea! Too cute! I will need to start doing this!

  5. Alexis Fetterman
    September 24, 2015 / 12:31 pm

    This is such a great idea! Too cute! I will need to start doing this!

  6. Kristy @ Rejoice and Repeat
    September 24, 2015 / 12:37 pm

    Oh yeah…I can totally relate.

  7. April of A. Liz Adventures
    September 24, 2015 / 1:03 pm

    Loooove this post. Lately our comments have been ridiculous. Camille, do not eat that coffee pod and put it BACK in the trash can. Camille, spit out the rest of that crayon into Mommy's hand.

  8. Chesson {A Southern Twenty-Five}
    September 24, 2015 / 1:30 pm

    What a great post! Love it all, especially the location of the missing bow 🙂

  9. Crystal
    September 24, 2015 / 2:22 pm

    My best one.Me: Annalise, whats in your hand?Annalise: walks up to me and places said object in my hand.Me: Ummmm. There is poop in my hand!!

  10. Jillian
    September 24, 2015 / 2:31 pm

    lol this is cute 🙂 violet is all about eating the corners of her playmat, pulling my hair, and using the walker to get as close as possible to the plants in the living room and grabbing a handful of leaves before i pull her away. im sure things will get even more entertaining once she starts talking! xo jillian – cornflake dreams

  11. PolkaDottyPlace
    September 24, 2015 / 2:49 pm

    Toddlers are funny little people. My daughter ate ketchup for dinner last night, too. I loved reading your kid conversations. I've said the following things this morning… we don't paint with chapstick on the mirror, please stop sitting on your kitty brothers, hitting people in the face isn't nice and please don't brush your toes with your toothbrush. You can't make this stuff up 🙂

  12. Traci
    September 24, 2015 / 3:10 pm

    I love this! So, so funny!

  13. Georgia Glam
    September 24, 2015 / 3:21 pm

    "We've been out of Cheerios for three weeks"! All of these have cracked me up!! The picture of Caroline in the stroller is precious!

  14. Hanging with the Hirsts
    September 24, 2015 / 3:34 pm

    Aw this post is so funny! Love reading stuff like this. I can only imagine the things we'll be saying when we have kids

  15. Liz Jo
    September 24, 2015 / 3:41 pm

    Hahaha, yes, we say some crazy things too. and the toddler meltdowns. the other day Sophie cried because I wanted to wear MY underwear and she wanted to wear it…go figure.liz jo @ sundays with sophie

  16. KatiePerk
    September 24, 2015 / 4:45 pm

    This was hilarious!!

  17. Sara
    September 24, 2015 / 6:15 pm

    Make it a double. Love that! And love the 6 pack in the wagon. Hilarious (and much needed, I'm sure!). And the Cheerio comment cracks me up. I have to admit that my 4 year old still does this.

  18. Life as the Mrs.
    September 25, 2015 / 12:39 am

    Ha! Yes! Same with us with the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. My husband always tells me to just replay the same one and that our 20-month-old would never know. I'm sure that's probably true! Something we recently said and died laughing at was, "Walker! No! We do not put your golf club in the potty!" #thingsineverthoughtidsay

  19. Jessica Kessler
    September 25, 2015 / 12:53 am

    Ha ha ha!! Life with a toddler is interesting to say the least. The amount of times I've heard my husband tell our son that he can take his hand off his penis because he promises it won't fall off is probably on both hands by this point.

  20. Shayna @ The Fancy Yancey
    September 25, 2015 / 2:38 am

    I love all of these!! Hilarious!!

  21. All Things Big and Small
    September 25, 2015 / 2:48 am

    LOVE this post! As a mom of a two year old and a five month old these ring so true! You never realize how absolutely absurd most of what you are saying! Too funny!Annie – All Things Big and Small

  22. Karli | September F A R M
    September 25, 2015 / 12:31 pm

    kaye, don't jump on sawyer's head. kaye, don't push sawyer off the couch. kaye, don't touch the toilet seat. (said in public bathroom. but kaye won't go to the bathroom unless she's holding onto said toilet seat for balance.) kaye, mommy doesn't want a haircut. sawyer, don't eat chalk. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

  23. Adelyn V
    September 25, 2015 / 5:34 pm

    LOVE these, especially the Cheerios comment (so my house). Some recent favorites:1. Me to LO: "Please quitting eating your crayons." Response to my husband–"That's why they make them nontoxic."2. Friend to me: "Your daughter is chewing on the patio table." Me to my friend: "Ehh… kids do that, she's eaten worse." Me to my daughter after discovering the patio paint was chipping off: "STOP chewing on the table."3. Me to my daughter after she stuffed a huge handful of cat food in her mouth: "We don't eat the kitties' food. This is the fifth time we've been through this."

  24. Hannah
    September 25, 2015 / 7:49 pm

    The Cheerio one. Oh, my goodness. That is too funny. Know you aren't alone in that type of incident or those types of conversations. I'm going to have to start paying attention to the things that are said around here and write them down. Off the top of my head: this morning I told my two year old to stop eating the watercolor paint. Then later, don't eat the rocks [we were outside]… there other other none eating ones I am sure, as we do a lot more than that. ha. 🙂

  25. Little King's Nest
    September 25, 2015 / 11:49 pm

    Me: "Welp, Griffin and Wiley (our dog) just shared a cup of ketchup under the table."Husband: "Awesome"

  26. Trista @ The Classy Chaos
    September 26, 2015 / 1:18 am

    This is great. Seriously. One thing that immediately comes to mind is our almost 5 yr old has recently been asking for us to wipe him after he goes potty. He's been doing it himself for who know how long. So what is constantly coming out of our mouths is "Wipe your own butt!" Haha!

  27. Elena @ baby Ridley bump
    September 27, 2015 / 4:02 pm

    I don't have any kids yet, but this is great! Seriously had me rolling, especially about the Cheerios! lol!

  28. Evelina
    September 28, 2015 / 2:52 am

    This is so great! My favourite is the microwave one. I love my microwave too haha

  29. David Dang
    September 29, 2015 / 8:21 am

    So cute 🙂

  30. Aileen Johnston
    September 29, 2015 / 12:59 pm

    Me: Amy you are a pest (she wouldnt let go of me as I was trying to get dressed and organised to get out the door). What are you?? Amy: Hmmm a frog?!Love kids and the converstaions you never thought you would have!

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