Pour yourself a cup of coffee and settle in because this month’s Coffee Talk is going to look a little different. Instead of covering a range of questions or random thoughts, I wanted to focus on one topic that’s been on my heart lately—something that came up during a recent conversation and got me reflecting on the friendships we all need in life…

The Friends We Need In Life
A few weeks ago at Bible study, we had a discussion that has stuck with me. It was about the three types of friends we all need in life. We talked about the value of having an upstream friend, a walking buddy, and a downstream friend, and how each plays a different role in shaping who we are.
An upstream friend is that person who has already walked a few more miles down the path of life. She’s the friend who’s a little older, a little wiser, and has been through the things you’re just now navigating. She’s been in the trenches of raising kids, balancing marriage, managing careers, and all the life that happens in between. There’s comfort in knowing that someone has faced similar struggles and come out the other side with grace and insight. This friend offers wisdom from real lived experience. She reminds you that the tough seasons eventually pass, and she can give you the perspective you can’t always see when you’re in the thick of it.
A walking buddy is the friend who’s right there beside you, living the same joys, struggles, and milestones. These are often the friendships that feel effortless because you just get each other. You understand the chaos of trying to get kids to basketball practice while juggling dinner plans and figuring out school assignments. You’re there to celebrate each other’s wins—whether that’s getting through a day with minimal meltdowns or simply surviving a long week. I’ve realized that the majority of my friendships fall into this category, and I feel so blessed to have so many women in my life who are walking right alongside me in this journey of motherhood. These friendships are like a lifeline during busy weeks and long seasons; they remind me that I’m never alone in this.
Lastly, there’s the downstream friend—someone who’s a little behind you on life’s path, perhaps just starting out with babies or entering a new chapter you’ve already experienced. This friendship gives you the opportunity to pour into someone else, offering encouragement and advice from your own life lessons. There’s a special kind of joy in being able to give back and share what you’ve learned. It’s a reminder that while we are always growing, there’s value in helping others find their way, too.
As I reflect on my friendships, I see how lucky I am to have so many walking buddies. These women are my people—the ones who are in the same stage, juggling the same chaos, and who know exactly what life looks like for me right now. But, if I’m honest, I’ve been praying for an upstream friend for a few years now. Someone who has the wisdom of years and who can guide me through the next stages of motherhood and life, because as much as I cherish my walking buddies, there’s something so valuable about having someone to look up to, someone who’s been there and can offer a light on the path ahead.
Anyway, I wanted to share this because I think at different times, we all find ourselves needing one or more of these friends. Whether you’re walking through the same phase, looking to someone for guidance, or sharing what you’ve learned with someone, these friendships bring something important to our lives. As I keep praying for that upstream friend, I’m thankful for the women around me who just get it, who make the hard days easier and the everyday moments more manageable. It’s a reminder that we’re all in this together, no matter where we are in life.
You can find all my previous Coffee Talk Posts HERE!
Caley
Monday 4th of November 2024
LOVED this and oh so true!! How beautiful to be blessed with all three of these friendships as we walk through life x
Jaclyn
Thursday 24th of October 2024
I love this! I have never heard it explained like this before..this is so true!
Sue
Wednesday 23rd of October 2024
Great post and so true. Most of my friends are also walking buddies (literally, too! ha!) but I have had a few upstream and downstream friends along the way and they really are a gift. This was a great reminder to cultivate those friendships. I hope that God brings you an upstream friend soon. :)
Jennifer
Wednesday 23rd of October 2024
I enjoyed this post! Great reflections. Now I need a snooze day sweatshirt
Sue Jones
Wednesday 23rd of October 2024
This post brought tears to my eyes. I am the oldest lady in my bible study group. I have already walked the paths that the other ladies are now navigating. Sometimes I thinkโฆ..why am I in this class? Iโm old. lol. I have always felt like my love language is encouragement and I hope I do encourage these ladies that I do life with. I have even thought of quitting this bible study and joining one with ladies more my age. Your post assured me that I am right where I need to be and Iโm so thankful for that.