This has been such a strange, crazy time that I wanted to capture what a day in our life looks like right now. I’m actually breaking this post up into two parts because my original post got super long and was all over the place. Part one captures more of our real life day to day grind, Monday – Friday, and will be a little messy. And part two will be the fun and happy “quarantine highlights” from this past month.
First, let’s quickly recap the timeline so far…
Quarantine Timeline
- Our family began self-quarantining on March 16. School and daycare closed that day and working remote became strongly advised. We received remote learning plans from Caroline’s teacher which included a few hours of education each day. Within a few days, Caroline began meeting with her class virtually for 30 minutes each morning via Zoom.
- On March 26, Charlotte issued a three week stay-at-home order. However, days later the North Carolina Governor issued a 30 day statewide stay-at-home order until at least April 29. He also announced schools would remain closed until May 15.
- On April 24, the Governor extended the stay-at-home order until May 8 and announced a three-phase plan for loosening restrictions that would roll out well into summer.
- On April 25, the Governor announced schools would remain closed through the remainder of the school year and remote learning would still continue.
Remote Learning & Remote Working
So here we are — week 6. Two full time jobs, two high-energy small kids, required remote learning and no childcare. Without a doubt, this has been the absolute most difficult part of quarantine for our family.
I always get nervous to peel back the curtain so publicly and share our struggles and complaints because YES, we are SO blessed. I can promise you that the health and safety of my family is something that I absolutely do not take for granted and thank God for every single day. We are also fortunate to have jobs that can be done from home. And even though we are both short-fused right now, I’m incredibly grateful for Matt who is dividing and conquering all of the responsibilities at home with me…while also running a 20 person law firm in the midst of a pandemic.
To be completely honest, I have not adjusted well to pandemic life — it truly feels unsustainable. In fact, we’re all starting to unravel a little bit around here, although admittedly, I’m probably burning out the fastest. I can’t stand how dirty and cluttered our house is 24/7, I’m an anxious mess and exhausted all the time. Every single day I feel like I’m either failing my kids or failing my firm and I’ve struggled to keep up in both areas. Work has been deeply stressful for me and Caroline’s required learning curriculum is confusing (what is “kitten” and “tiger” syllable division?!?!?!). Assignments require significant prep and are found across a variety of websites, platforms and apps (all with different log-ins, of course). Zoom class meetings require stand-by technical support (and sometimes spontaneous parent participation) and frequently overlap with my re-occurring conference calls…and more. I want to be clear that we have an absolutely wonderful Kindergarten teacher and she has gone above and beyond doing an extraordinary job during this crisis. However, it’s been difficult as two working parents to keep up as the teacher aid, hall monitor, the nurse, cafeteria worker, PE teacher, janitor and more. If you’re thinking “just do the required minimum and don’t compare to yourself to the other parents in class who have built extra-credit sight word walls”…we already are putting in the minimum required by the school district.
Also, it’s weird working at home with your spouse. Although we are home all day together in rooms right next to each other (I sit in the kitchen and he sits in the dining room), I feel like I barely see him at all these days. It’s also really interesting to hear your spouse on conference calls. I’ve really come to realize how stressful family law can be (especially in the midst of quarantine) and he finds my “professional voice” on conference calls fascinating and claims I have all of these “professional marketing words” I use all the time that he never hears me say in real life. Hilarious.
So very early on, we developed a schedule that we still loosely follow to help keep some structure to our day and help us manage expectations (don’t ask me for a snack until 10:30 am, and yes you have to go upstairs for two hours — every day). I honestly don’t know what this next month will look like for us, but from the beginning Matt and I decided to divide the day, which works well on some days but often gets derailed depending on the demands of work, our patience levels and the weather is hugely important too. Some days we just hand the chrome books over and plow through work. However, this is the ideal schedule that is currently posted on our wall…
The Daily Schedule
6 am: The kids are up by 6 but aren’t allowed to come downstairs until 7 and they have to be dressed, teeth brushed and beds made. I roll out of bed, pull on yoga pants and get to work early while Matt makes the kids pancakes for breakfast if they haven’t already wrecked the kitchen making 2-3 breakfasts for themselves (usually a bowl of cereal, grab-and-go smoothies, yogurt, toast, etc.). Then I clean up the kitchen for the first of many times for the day.
8:30 am: Matt gets school organized for the day, reviewing all of the assignments across the various platforms to understand what’s required by the school district for math, reading, social studies, etc. Assignments often require parent-prep — printing out worksheets, cutting up tiny pieces of paper, markers and tape for activities like sight word scavenger hunts around the house or domino math “fluency games.” Once he’s organized, Matt googles all the acronyms (COPS, Magic E’s, Stealing R’s, etc.) so he understands the lesson plans. I know, I know — he’s truly the MVP in our home right now. Like I said, I couldn’t do this without him and am incredibly grateful for him…and his patience.
9 am: School begins for both kids. Thomas mostly practices writing using worksheets that Matt creates by hand for him or he uses his letters workbook for as long as Matt can hold his attention before giving him ABC Mouse to play on his chrome book. Simultaneously, Matt works with Caroline on her assignments.
10:30 am: Snack time. Usually some sort of cracker and fruit.
11 am: My shift begins and Matt gets to work for the rest of the day. I set up Caroline’s daily 30-minute Zoom meeting and stand by for technical support. Meanwhile, I play the videos sent each day by Thomas’s pre-school teachers for him to watch while Caroline is in her meeting, otherwise he spends her entire meeting distracting her and clowning around in the background. Following the meeting, Caroline has more school work to do (usually assigned during the Zoom meeting) and we complete her final assignment from her “Choice Board” for the day. Some days it’s a “create a how to video” and we record her learning to ride her bike or making a recipe. Other days it’s “read two stories, make a venn diagram and compare/contrast the characters” or my favorite so far is “choose a job to do around the home and do it for 3 days in a row.” Caroline is now responsible for unloading the dishwasher every day and Thomas is responsible for bringing all of the dirty laundry to the laundry room and loading the washing machine. Huge win!
12 pm: Lunch time. I make lunch for the kids which is almost always an uncrustable or lunchables these days with random sides (yogurt, applesauce, etc.). I turn on TV for them at this point (their reward for getting through the school work) and usually it’s Storyline Online, Wild Kratts or weird YouTube videos of kids making things or pretending to be ninjas.
1 – 3 pm: Quiet time. Even though it’s far from “quiet” and we still have to mute our calls to yell upstairs for the kids to stop arguing. However, they are required to stay upstairs for 2 hours (on a good day). A few times a week, I try to sneak in a 20 minute Peloton workout as soon as they go upstairs and then jump right back in to work.
3 pm: Snack time and outside play. When quiet time is over, I have a snack ready for the kids (usually another combo of fruit & crackers) and on a good day I’ll have an activity set up for them to do together — water play, outside time, sidewalk chalk, etc.
4 pm: I usually break away from work and take the kids for a walk (or a bike ride since they just learned how to ride their bikes this week!!!). When we get back home, I check back in on work, pour a glass of wine and then start prepping dinner while the kids take baths (this has been awesome to knock baths out so early). The kids get their chrome books after baths until dinner is ready.
5:30 pm: Dinner. Since both of our dining tables are work stations during the week, we don’t eat as a family during the week days right now. The kids happily eat in front of the TV while Matt and I eat our dinner together on the couch outside. This time is really important for us and some days it’s the only time I even get the chance to connect with Matt.
7 pm: Bedtime routine begins. Matt wrangles the kids upstairs and begins the marathon night-night process while I clean up the kitchen and pick up the house a bit. Before the pandemic, we use to each put one kid to bed at the same time and then sneak into the other kids room for a quick goodnight. But these days we alternate bedtime each night to allow the other person to get back to work and hopefully start wrapping up for the day.
8 pm: If I didn’t get up extra early to blog, I transition from my work laptop to my blog laptop around this time most nights. (So if my grammar is terrible, my run-on sentences don’t make sense and I’ve misspelled words…it’s because I’m usually mentally and/or physically spent when I blog…but it’s also my outlet that makes me happy so I always try to find the time.)
9:30 – 10 pm: Netflix in bed. Matt will sometimes bring his work to bed if he hasn’t finished up for the day.
11 pm: Lights out…because the same routine is starting in just 7 short hours.
I feel your pain! I too feel incredibly lucky that at present I have a job and that I can work from home but man is it difficult. WI have been working from home since Tuesday 17th March. My husband came home from offshore on Thursday 19th March and Schools closed in the UK on Friday 20th March. I am not going to lie the first 2 weeks were hell. The teachers didn’t know how much they should be giving, I was having to work with equipment that wasn’t working, my husband was annoyed as we were at home all day (bearing in mind we have a small 2 bedroom house and we live in Scotland where in March the weather is normally a bit pants to say the least!!) and we are not allowed to drive anywhere unless it is essential travel!! Thankfully after the first 2 weeks, our Spring Holiday started. I still had to work but the days were more chilled, my work told us all to take a couple of mental health rest days and it was good. Then the husband went away again (he is now officially classed as a key worker. Anyway Amy and I have now settled into a bit of a good routine and things seem to be going ok. I also want to say I am lucky that I have only one kid who is reasonably good at entertaining herself but at other times it is the only time I have ever felt real guilt about her being an only child as she has no one else to play with and I feel so sad for her. Anyway here is our rough guide to the day, just in case it can help anyone.
0700 – 0800 – We get up, I get dressed, we make beds and a quick tidy and then its breakfast time
0800 – 0900 – We do some reading or a task that requires a bit more input from mum as this the best hour for me.
0900 – 1000 – I go into a conference call, Amy does her Joe Wicks (The Bodycoach) Workout on YouTube. He is quite annoying but he is doing PE with kids every morning from 0900 – 0930. Then when she finishes that, she does some literacy that has been set for her and does some maths on one of the apps she has to do.
1000-1030 – BREAK TIME. Amy also gets dressed as she does her workout in her PJs.
1030- 1200 – Schoolwork as set by the teacher (I work)
1200-1300- Lunch time!
1300 – 1400 – We normally try to do a puzzle or a mystery that will help with spelling and maths.
1400-1500 – Reading, Project Work, Writing a Story or she can pick an activity of her own (depends on what she got done in the morning and what sort of mood we are both in by then!)
1500 – 1630 – I work(I normally schedule calls within this hour), Amy has play time and can do whatever she wants.
1630 – 1830 – we do our allowed hour of outside exercise. yesterday Amy and I did circuit training (I was dead). When her dad is home they might go for a cycle together or sometimes we just go for a walk around the block. And we try to do a wee art activity or something whilst I get dinner ready.
1830- 2030 – Dinner, Shower, Story, BED!
2030-2230 – My time. My husband phones, I have a glass of wine, I get organised for the next day, read a book and hopefully fall asleep at a suitable time as all the shit starts the next day.
That’s the routine at the moment, we shall see what happens when the husband comes home! We haven’t had confirmation as yet but I don’t think schools will be back until September. Thankfully the weather has been fairly amazing for this time of year in Scotland so we have been able to get out for our hour exercise most days and Amy has been able to play in the garden. Another bonus is my neighbour and I are very friendly so we have sat in the back garden on many an evening and had a glass of wine (whilst obviously social distancing).
I am finding it quite hard now as we had a death in the family on Thursday and I just want us all to be together but we cant be (obviously). I hate how my house is constantly in a mess and gets dirty so easily and I hate the monotony of where we are allowed to walk to. We are used to driving to woods and hills and getting outside all the time so that has been very difficult to cope with. Obviously it goes without saying that I know I am lucky and these are minor complaints compared to what people are actually going through but I wanted to say it in case anyone else is feeling like that so they know it is ok to say it out loud!!
Wow that may be the longest comment I have ever written so apologies for that. Sending much love to you and your family and to everyone else. We don’t know how long this is going to last but hopefully we will all make it out the other side. Perhaps a bit fatter and perhaps our wine consumption will be a bit more than normal but I am hopeful that our kids will only remember the good parts and not the fact that us parents lost our shit quite a few times.
On a final wee note I hope that the fact that my colleagues have now realised that when I am very angry and losing my shit at my child, I do not move my lips when shouting! I think this says that I have done this a few times on some video calls!!
Take care everyone xxx
Absolutely loved this post and the honest look into your family’s lives currently! This is SUCH a hard time and I’m in awe of how you’re balancing everything so far. You are doing amazing considering everything!!
xoxo A
http://www.southernbelleintraining.com
Yes! “Just put in the minimum and don’t worry about everything else.” I’M DOING THAT ALREADY. And it doesn’t help my anxiety over my kids falling behind because *I* have to work while these other moms are doing all this extra stuff. This is not sustainable and I NEVER feel like enough (either as a mom or as an employee).
I hate that the school is asking this of you! I can understand one complicated cut out a week but this is crazy! What about her just being read to or her reading? That is much easier! You can’t be the only family struggling! It’s almost the end of the year thankfully and let’s pray we don’t do this in the fall!
Hang in there! Some days are harder than others. I have been thankful that my kids are older (11th and 7th grade) but it is hard to stay on them to get their work done. Especially my 11th grader who has AP exams next month and hasn’t been getting the “full teacher” experience from being at school. So while everyone’s situation is different, my approach is to get through the day and enjoy the time I do have with them.
You are doing a more than amazing job! As soon as our district sent out the official remote learning requirements (which didn’t happen until the 2nd week of April) I emailed both teachers and asked for the minimum amount they would need to do to move on next year (currently in K and 2) … turns out they don’t have to do anything. There’s no way I can navigate remote learning while both of us try to work full time … especially since I knew it couldn’t be done without it being a constant battle. They both spend a decent amount of time reading every day and I know they will be behind on math but with the grades that they are in I’m confident they can get caught up next year. I’d rather they look back on quarantine as a fun family time than the time I spent failing them at home schooling. I told both teachers that my goal is to minimize screen time (only because they turn into monsters) and maximize play time. And that’s what we’ve been doing! It’s still so hard, and I feel guilty every single day for not doing more school work, but deep down I’m ok with it. Also I’ve never been more grateful that my girls have each other … of course there is tons of fighting but for the most part they spend the entire day playing together. Even though our situation is so ideal (2 jobs that can be done from home, 2 kids that are besties and pretty self sufficient) this time is still SO hard.
I give you major major props for all of the school work you are fitting in.
Thank you so much for sharing! I am also part of a 2 parent working family with 2 small children out of daycare. I appreciate how candid you are and also saying that this is unsustainable! I completely agree. Also has anyone given the school feedback on simplifying the lessons? Parents shouldn’t have to spend Time googling acronyms. That doesn’t add value!?
I love how raw and honest you are with this!! So many of us are feeling the same way and it’s nice to actually hear it from another working mama. Here in Ohio our stay at home order is basically the same timeline; maybe a day or two sooner. I unfortunately still have to work in my office away from home but my husband and kids are home all day. My husband is an elementary teacher and we have 1 son in school so he has been struggling being a “single” parent during the day while trying to teach his class and run all of our sons assignments. It’s not easy and the pressure I think we put on ourselves is the worst. I can see my spouse struggling hard with the messes, 10X snacks and lunches per day, 10X outfit changes, etc. Thank you for being honest with us and letting us see how you and Matt are handling this all. Stay safe and hang in there!!
It makes me so sad to hear about the overwhelming amount of work and responsibility you are dealing with for Caroline’s schooling! I am a Speech Pathologist in a public school district (and also have a Kindergartener doing distance learning)…..I work in the state of Maine and we’ve been SO CAREFUL, especially at the elementary level, to acknowledge how difficult this is to sustain for parents who are trying to work from home!! All our schools were specifically instructed by administration to provide ONLY reading/ELA and math work and it should only be review/support of material that has already been taught in school – no new instruction. Our elementary students are not required to log on to any electronic platforms (optional groups have been set up where teachers read stories, do a “morning message”, etc) but nothing required. And my Kindergartener’s “work” is typically 1 ELA worksheet and 1 math worksheet per day (with no prep work needed) that she is able to complete fairly independently within 20-30 minutes. I mean, we also work on sight words, reading, etc. but that’s my choice and things that I do as “extra” with her. I’m just saddened to hear how much pressure is being put on you (and so many other families) to do SO MUCH WORK during this unprecedented time…..especially at the Kindergarten level (when we were in Kindergarten we mostly played, napped, and learned letters!). All this to say, you’re doing a FABULOUS job with what you’ve been given <3 <3
I also wanted to point out, that across the board (at least for elementary learners) students will move on to the next grade, regardless of what remote learning work has been completed or not (it’s not fair to hold students back based on whether they had the support or parent availability to complete a certain amount of work). I would touch base with your school and inquire as to whether “required assignments” will determine whether your child moves on to the next grade – they absolutely shouldn’t! If not, I would let A LOT of this “required” work go and only do what you can comfortably sustain within your family structure without anxiety and guilt!!!!
Thanks for sharing! Hang in there. Are you able to use EFMLA/care leave for loss of childcare? I have a few colleagues with little kids using 1-2 days a week to give themselves and the kids a break.
This is an extremely tough time and try to give some grace. We have been in quarantine since March 20, I’m a 3rd grade teacher with an 18 mo old son who is at home and my husband works from home.
IT IS HARD! I completely understand that feeling of depending on the day, I’m either failing my son or my job. My husbands job depends on daily output so he cant pop on and off work like I can. Let me tell you, I have a masters degree in early childhood and I have NO CLUE what to do with my son for 12 hours a day, every week day, while simultaneously teaching a class of 23 students.
We are grateful and appreciate our family has been safe and healthy at this time, we dont take it for granted one bit. I was going to mention too that we threw in the towel with meals because the prep, and cleaning of 3 meals a day every day, just done with it. So easy, reheat and eat is where we are at!
“To be completely honest, I have not adjusted well to pandemic life — it truly feels unsustainable.” -> This hit home. I am in Germany, similar schedule, same challenges, same feelings. I guess I can cope but I don’t like my life at the moment. I loved this post. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for sharing! You are brave for your honesty, and it is very much appreciated. It sounds like you are a rockstar, as so many other work-from-home mothers are right now. But something stinks in America, when a parent is expected to maintain his workload, AND teach a kindergartener a Venn diagram (?!?!) AND run a household. This is so unhealthy and so wrong. Kindergarteners should be running outside, playing imaginatively and listening to stories. NOT be doing hours of, frankly, busy work. Rock on, Christina and Matt, and here’s to hoping this quarantine causes Americans to take a hard look at how we do things and what we value.
I too have not adjusted well to pandemic life. My husband probably says to me 3 times a week you’re not gonna make it are you… nope! I am in KY and the time line with schools closing etc sounds about the same. I have a 6th grader and 1st trader. My husband and I are on the front lines of the pandemic. I work in a radiology dept doing catscans and my husband is a fireman. The first few weeks I was so stressed out from worry about catching covid 19 , worrying about what to do with my kids if that happened , worrying about my husband getting it. I wasn’t sleeping at night. I was short tempered once home from work. Then add on the stress of school . I don’t like the mom I have become during this. Luckily one of my coworkers has a daughter in college that babysits for us on the days we both work. We don’t have a choice. The ymca has offered childcare to healthcare workers and first responders but I didn’t feel comfortable with that . I trust our sitter who the kids love and babysits during the summers for us. But I don’t expect her to do all the school work so once I get home from working a 10 hr shift at 6pm I have to do dinner and finish the days school work. On my days off I try to get a head as much as possible. But I am just mentally exhausted. I feel like I am failing my kids. I know it has been difficult for them . My daughter misses school , her friends, soccer and of course she turns 12 Friday. So no bday party. I am thankful we have our jobs but lord sometimes I could scream. Lol. I am bitter of moms that don’t have jobs and their only focus is on their kids. Their constant complaining . There are a few on social media I had to unfollow Bc while they posting their craft time I am at work recycling my n95 mask! I can’t wait til we get back to a little bit of normal.
My husband is a firefighter and tested positive for covid-19 the end of March. His symptoms were like a really bad flu. Thankfully he (and the 5 other firefighters on his crew) recovered completely but while he was quarantined from us in our master bedroom and the kids and I were required to self-quarantine at home and I had a full work day it got tough! Thankfully our kids our little (2 and 6 months) so there is no school work, but I feel so guilty because our daughter is having a hard time playing all by herself while I am right there at home with her. Thankfully we are all healthy, but the work from home doesn’t get much easier.
Thank you to you and your husband for your service! We appreciate you!!! Hang in there and stay safe 🙂
LOVE LOVE LOVE. We are in this thing together. It’s not an easy task, for sure!
As a “old-60+“mom of 2-grown kids close to your age I just wanted to encourage you, “This to shall pass” I also want to remind you that I can guarantee you that your kids don’t share your perspective. They don’t see the hectic chaos….They see YOU! They may not even realize it, but they are storing up these priceless memories of being able to share longer days with you, instead of hectic end of the day where the focus is homework, dinner. baths, & a quick bedtime story. You canNOT even begin to know what it means to have more hours with you in their presence as you share meal prep or if they run by you for a quick hug and a “I love you” bc in their eyes, right now HOME with mommy & daddy is their safe place. To them, the outside world is kind of scary looking with face masks, drawn off social distancing tape, protective shields everywhere…… their world order is ALSO upside down (no play dates, going to the park, etc) SO YES! the world is a seemingly hot mess right now,
But God is still God and sometimes He needs to pull us close to Him and remind us of our priorities. All that you do right now, is in order to guide your kids to find their place & purpose in God’s Plan! So allow Him to calm & prioritize your hearts❣️😷❣️ BLESSINGS❣️
I love this! Those of us that are in the thick of it with little ones at home while we’re working full time at home with them can barely see the light at the end of the tunnel. Saw the sweetest quote that I keep in the back of my mind when things feel extra tough – “The year is 2036. I’m in an eerily quiet house. Both kids are grown and have moved out. I’d do anything to be quarantined with my 5 and 2 year old and the sounds of their tiny feet running all over the house.”
It sounds like y’all are doing an amazing job doing what you can to balance it all! Hopefully we will be able to return to somewhat “normalcy” in the near future!
I literally do not know how you are doing all of this. I am FLOORED. And if I could drive my unemployed self down to NC right now and be your free live-in nanny/teacher, I would 10000% do it lol. I hope things get better or at least a little easier!
Sending you so much strength and a huge hug. You both are doing SO much. I cannot imagine how difficult this time must be. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS.
OMG! I had no idea. I’m a grandmother with nothing in my life that relates to what you describe. A Venn graph?…is this Graduate School or kindergarden? Something is wrong with our system/society that gives so little support to working families. I’m rebellious enough that I would push back and join the kids in playing in the sprinkler…but that’s just me.
Wow- I’m so surprised your school district is doing so much- especially at the Kindergarten level. That makes me sad. I am an 8th grade Middle School teacher in Northern Virginia and we have been advised multiple times to take it easy and limit our assignments to the bare minimum. We only have to virtually meet with our students once a week for 45 minutes, They have classes 2 days and the other 3 days are for independent activities or add-ons. We are also not allowed to fail any student and attendance is not mandatory. Everything we are doing is supplemental work and we have been trying to encourage the students to go outside and find new hobbies. Wishing you all the best as you continue to navigate these unprecedented times. If there is any advice I can give as a fellow Mom of two and teacher- it would be to not worry about the school requirements!! please! let a few assignments go or ALL of them! the kids will not fall behind and teachers will do whatever it takes when schools open back up to help get them all caught up! Take this time to let kids be kids and not feel too confined to a schedule. You’re doing a WONDERFUL job! I have followed you for so very long but have never commented until today. I have always admired your honesty! Do what you need to do to keep some sort of sanity and patience during this time and allow yourself grace. You’re a rockstar mama for sure!! Blessings!
Canadian teacher and mom here (Ontario) but I would say our remote learning requirements are much more in line with yours. We have been reminded many times to consider the variety of home situations and stressors students might be under, and to cover the essentials only and be flexible. And I teach high school! Thankful for this as a parent of two little ones as well. Sorry that your school seems so inflexible and demanding, especially for such little ones! I’m impressed with how organized your schedule seems (even though it might not seem like that to you). I agree though even with our more relaxed guidelines with my husband and I working from home (his job requires a lot more “face time” so less available a lot of days) and two little ones, this doesn’t seem very sustainable. Just know you seem to be making the best of a tough situation and there are many of us out here having a virtual glass of wine with you every night .
100% agree with this. At this age, that amount of schoolwork seems insane. I have one Caroline’s age as well as a 7 (almost 8) year old. We do approx 30 minutes of work with my 5 year old, and approx 45 minutes with my 7 year old. Do you have any flexibility in following what the district has sent? This just seems crazy for that age range and way too high of expectations. We have been sent optional things from our district…I read them weekly and we do the things that sound good and ditch the others. I bought several grade appropriate Kumon workbooks and my kids each do several workbook pages a day as well. We read a lot—them reading to me, and me reading to them as well. Keeping “school” work to what I think is an acceptable level has been a key to my sanity in this.
We also do a lot in the mornings to wear them out. This morning we went on a 2 mile bike ride (them)/walk (me). Kids that age are still moving a lot at school and just can’t sit and focus for terribly long.
Great post! I often feel like I am failing my husband, kids, work, etc. and I also have an insanely short fuse. My kids are about the same ages as yours, and at times it seems I am not only supposed to be meeting deadlines at work, but also homeschooling one child, and feeling guilty when the other child doesn’t understand why we cant play at the moment. Just thinking about it is exhausting!
I’ve found doing activities out of the norm like delivering rocket copters to my kid’s friends, or planning a night to get frozen margaritas helps immensely!
Question for you… What do the kids do in the 2 hours they are resting/playing upstairs? I love this idea.
It’s so nice to always know we are never alone. I’m glad I’m not the only one struggling. Not all day everyday. But there are moments for sure where I just miss the way it was and how much I took that, sometimes mundane, schedule for granted. But I really have realized I can’t dwell on that right now. This too shall pass. But damn it’s hard.
You’re doing an impossible job the very best you can!
Every school is so different. We have 1 zoom call/week, 3 assignments for math/literacy. We do 2-3 hours max of school, the rest is playing outside, playing legos, tablet time while I try to work etc.
I’m thinking of school that we have until August to finish stuff so we can take it real slow.
Work is hard and different. I’m trying to stay focused on the good and fun things (like seeing the kids all the time), while also allowing for myself to feel the hard parts (like seeing the kids all.the.time) 🤣
You got this girl!
I can relate to this so much — and I don’t even have two children in school! My husband and I both work full time in pharmaceutical marketing and it’s incredibly demanding right now. My 18 month old Can’t be left to her own devices for more than 30 seconds and is definitely not getting the attention she needs, and neither is my team at work. This is HARD…and totally unsustainable. All of our situations are different but the same. You and Matt are amazing parents. A woman at work told me “your kids won’t remember the time spent on conference calls, they will remember that they felt loved.” That really resonated with me as we are all just doing the best we can and trying to meet basic needs right now. Thank you for your honesty! Sending lots of hugs and wine for those extra tough days.
I feel like I could have written this! And honestly, almost in your EXACT words!!! Except we have a 6 and 4 year old and 8 month old twins!! I am NOT coping well with the current situation, either. I have worked from home for 10+ years, go grocery shopping and stock up every 3-4 weeks, and aside from the occasional happy hour and date night, don’t really leave the house much. I’m a social homebody (does that even make sense)? Meaning, I love and crave in person interaction with family and friends, but I don’t really love to travel because the anxiety of packing everyone and doing it all, makes me want to pull my hair out. Yet, when I’m on vacation, I’m like ummmm this is amazing let’s plan our next vacation and leave immediately when we get back! This whole “new normal”has rocked my world and I hate it. I feel like you “get” me. It’s not that I love my family any less, it’s not that I am not soaking up all the time together, it’s not any of that…it’s that I am used to being by myself in my home space/office everyday, and now they are all here. ALL THE TIME!!! It helps to have people to relate to like you, to make me feel not so isolated and that even though some may judge the way I am feeling and acting, they are my feelings and I am allowed to feel them. Wish we could be IRL friends! You are such an amazing woman, wife, mom, daughter and friend. Thank you for always keeping it real and making so many people feel like what we think and feel is ok. AND, I’ve gotten so many product recommendations from you, my Amazon account thanks you, too 🙂 Take care and sending big hugs from WI. I’m @gk_ruppel on Instagram if you want to follow along on our crazy life!! xoxo
I relate to this so, so much. We have 3 young children (5, 3, and 1) and my husband and I both work full time demanding jobs. My oldest is also in kindergarten so we are also trying to do the home school thing. It’s SO hard. And I hate saying that because I am SO thankful for all we have but it feels so hard. I constantly feel like a failure and someone/something is always losing out. I’m worried my oldest is getting so behind in school. This is just not sustainable at all and I hope we can somehow figure out a different solution. Thank you so much for sharing as it makes me feel a lot less alone.
I love this post so much and feel like I could have written it. We both are working from home and have a second grader and preschooler. I’m so mentally exhausted from work and homeschooling and trying to stay upbeat for the kids. It’s so much! My company if flexible and understanding, but there’s still so much work that needs to be done so I feel like I’m working all day to fit it in when I can. We found out school was closed for the year last week and I received two summer camp cancellations. This week has felt extra rough- I think it’s knowing this will continue for a while. Let’s put it this way- I had a full break down after I picked up my target drive up order for computer ink (so much printing) and got home to realize the cartridge didn’t fit. After sobbing for 30 minutes i regrouped but needed to get that out. We’re in it together!
To end on a funny note – my 5 year old was supposed to be crafting while I was on a zoom call for an important meeting. She snuck up on me and tickled my nose on camera with a feather from her craft box. I bet that’s something most people haven’t seen before 😊 work from home life!
Hang in there!
Love this post! This is SO SO hard! This is not home-schooling. This I not stay-at-home parenting. This is crazy. My husband and I both work from home now and our daughter is in Kindergarten. Trying to manage Zoom meetings for 3 people, 2 full days work and lesson plans and still eat and do laundry is insane. I take 30 minutes for myself in the middle of each day to take a walk and listen to something fun (podcast, audiobooks). I still have daily breakdowns from the stress of it.
I am exhausted just reading this. You are an AWESOME mom and you are killing it. Having 3 under 3 at home right now is draining in ways but man I am so thankful I am not having to be a homeschool teacher too #silverlining
So agree with all that you’ve said! My husband and I both work and both of our jobs are considered essential so we’ve still gone into our offices during this time. One of us takes mornings and one takes afternoons depending on our schedules. I have a 3rd grader and a 5th grader and it’s been INSANE. My 3rd grader also has special needs so in addition to his 3x/week Zoom calls with his class (which is much needed to keep him on a routine), he also has TWO one on one sessions with his teacher per week and Speech Therapy 2x per week. Thank goodness my 5th grader can do most of his assignments by himself. His school doesn’t post the daily assignments until 9am each day and they’re due by 6pm that evening. But, I still feel like I’m losing my mind and I had a complete breakdown on Monday. I just have to keep telling myself— This is not normal. You don’t have to be “mother of the year”. We’re all in survival mode right now and I think we just have to do the best we can. I know you and Matt are doing an amazing job and the only thing that really matters is the happiness and well being of your family. Hang in there and stay well! XO
Thank you so much for sharing, sounds a lot like us here in Raleigh with a 1st grader and a 4th grader. Both of us are working full time and our 1st grader has academic special needs and cannot do any of her work herself. I’m at my wits end some days and I’m ok others.
I just wanted to share one thing that works for us — a points system. The things that are the hardest (getting ready to learn at 8:45 and for our 1st grader, reading, are worth the most points and we associate the points at wiggle breaks and during specials with cleaning up after themselves. They use points at the end of the week to buy candy, can use points to be the one to choose the takeout meal or choose something they want from Amazon. So in your case they’d get the most points for quiet time and you won’t have to yell anything except POINTS! Here’s an example:
Time Task Points
By 8:30 Bed made, room picked up, breakfast eaten, dressed with teeth and hair brushed 15
8:45-9:45 LITERACY
Julia- Tutoring
Clara – Morning Literacy Work 10
9:45-10:00 WIGGLE BREAK 2
10:00-10:45 Julia: Occupational Therapy
Clara: AIG 10
10:45-11:30 SPECIAL OF YOUR CHOICE 5
11:30-12:15 MATH
Clara – Morning Math Work
Julia – Morning Math Work 5
12:15-12:45 Lunch 0
12:45-1:30 LITERACY
Clara – Afternoon Lacy Work
Julia – Afternoon Lacy Work 5
1:30-1:40 Wiggle Break 2
1:40-2:25 MATH, SCIENCE, SOCIAL STUDIES
Clara – Lacy Work
Julia – Lacy Work 5
2:25-2:40 Snack & Tech Break or Outside 0
2:40-3:00 Reading: Clara Independent,
Julia: read out loud
3:00-5:00 Free play! 0
Wow! You did really well with the schedule, amazing parents!